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Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 8th Dec '05 3:28PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Fair enough - your insurance-gathering requests have been noted. And, Kelly, the wheel is spun....

And the number is: TWO. Bad luck! When will you Lifers learn that gambling never pays, apart from sometimes?

Mildred, one of our two resident pensioners, spins an 8 which brings her to another Stop space: "Toll bridge. Give 50,000 to the poorest player." I have consulted the rules about exactly this scenario, and the good news, Mildred, is that because you are the poorest player you get to take 50,000 from the bank!

And, because it's a Stop space, every other player will definitely land on it. Things may be looking up for Mildred!

Arabstrap next... but we're still awaiting his decision on which antiques owner to pay. Who's it to be? 'Trappo?
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 8th Dec '05 4:06PM
212 Posts
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Member Since
13th Sep '04
'I've never been so pleased to be poor!' she cries, shaking her walking stick jubilantly in the air
 

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Thu 8th Dec '05 4:21PM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05
Malc,

Give the wonga to the poorest of the two, which i assume is Clara.

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 9th Dec '05 9:49AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Actually, the poorest of the two was Swoop, so the wonga has been duly wonged in his direction. Which means we can now come to Arabstrap's next turn: he spins a 3 and therefore moves to "Advertise on television. Pay 40,000." Dear me, the money's flowing from Arabstrap's pockets these days...

Clara, then: spins a 9 and flings herself to "Start a new record label. Pay 50,000." I can smell a Bucks Fizz revival coming on...
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 9th Dec '05 10:17AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Kelly now spins a 6, going straight to "Fall in oil prices. Pay 100,000 or hand in an oil well card." Kelly is sadly oilwellless, and therefore is now 100,000 poorer. That must hurt.

Next, to Mildred, our happy retiree - she spins a 3 and lands on "Auction. Pay 160,000 or hand in an antiques collection." And, just like that, without so much as a by-your-leave, Mildred is hereby bankrupt and whisks herself off to the Country Cottage.

Mildred - it's been emotional.

From now on, all you must do is choose two numbers per turn to bet on. It's a sad life, but a relatively easy one, I suppose...

Spanners, also retired, spins a 4, landing on "Toll bridge. Pay 50,000 to the poorest player." And, just like that, Mildred's fortunes are on the up again! Interestingly, there's no rule saying players have to leave the Country Cottage when they gain money - so it looks as though Mildred has nothing to lose and everything to gain from the current scenario! The game's still wide open...

Swoop, next, spins a 6 and goes straight to "Build a prototype. Pay 65,000." Swoop, please furnish us with a description (and possibly a diagram) of your device.
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Fri 9th Dec '05 10:34AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Clara, then: spins a 9 and flings herself to "Start a new record label. Pay 50,000." I can smell a Bucks Fizz revival coming on...



Oh yes. 'Don't let your indecision take you from behind...'
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 9th Dec '05 1:44PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Time for another round, then: Arabstrap spins a 2, landing on "Appear on TV documentary - receive 50,000." Curses - I forgot to set the video.

Clara spins a 3 and pops over to "Sponsor Olympic contestant. Pay 50,000." As a now retired Athlete, Spanners is no longer entitled to the proceeds so they go straight bankwards.

Kelly spins a 4 and nips across to the (not very) dreaded TAX square. The spinner is spun, and the number is NINE, meaning that... ooh, that crafty Spanners managed to avoid paying his tax by retiring just in time!

And now we return to out Country Cottage-dwelling Mildred. Play cannot continue until we have Mildred's first pair of betting digits. What's it to be? 'Dred?
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Fri 9th Dec '05 1:54PM
212 Posts
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Member Since
13th Sep '04
Well, 'Colm, I should like to bet on the numbers 3 and 8 please
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 9th Dec '05 2:39PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
And the number is... SEVEN. Sorry, Mildred - you leave with nothing. However, you've lost nothing too.

Spanners spins a 4, walloping himself along to "Slump in property prices. Pay 185,000 or hand in a luxury villa card." Fortunately Spanners is in possession of the aforesaid card, and is therefore spared.

Swoop spins a 10, sending him frolicking straight into retirement! Congratulations, Swoop. You receive a free Rolls-Royce, 50,000 for your life insurance certificate (take note, players - there are seven certificates currently available!) and 50,000 for your two children. Enjoy the Good Life, Swoop!

Arabstrap spins an 8, taking him to "Art gallery robbed. Pay 80,000 or hand in an Art Collection card. But does Arabstrap possess such a card? He does! Phew!
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Sun 11th Dec '05 4:31PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Time for a quick spot of Sunday Afternoon GOLing.

Clara spins a 1 and tiptoes over to "Pay court fees. Pay 20,000." And she pays them, of course, to Kelly, our resident legalist.

Kelly then spins a 2, landing on that square... that veritable DYNAMITE of a square: "Sue any one player for 100,000." This could make things interesting - Kelly, who's it to be?

Now back to Mildred, who needs to specify her next two numbers for a free flutter. Your decision, Mildred?
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Mon 12th Dec '05 9:26AM
758 Posts
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Member Since
4th Oct '03
Could I have a quick run down of players and their financial situations, please, Malcolm?
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 12th Dec '05 9:49AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Hmm... Yeah, go on then. In alphabetical order by last letter of name, and spelled in the Scandinavian style:

Cl?ra, a teacher
332,000
7 life insurance certificates
Racehorse, resale value 3,000
Antiques collection, resale value 5,000
Art collection, resale value 6,000

Milddred, retired
50,000
Currently residing in the Country Cottage

?rabstraap, an actor
232,000
1 life insurance certificate
Racehorse, resale value 3,000
Antiques collection, resale value 5,000

Sw?p, retired
430,000
Antiques collection, resale value 5,000
Racehorse, resale value 3,000

Spann??rs, retired
972,032.92
Luxury yacht, resale value 7,500
Oil well, resale value 8,000
Private jet, resale value 10,000

Kel?, a lawyer
227,000
15 life insurance certificates
Luxury yacht, resale value 7,500

(and, by the way, there are 7 Life Insurance certificates left.)

We still await Mildred's numbers!
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Mon 12th Dec '05 11:05AM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
Oh well in that case, sue Clara! Give me her cash! She stole my life insurances! Hahahahaha!
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Mon 12th Dec '05 11:38AM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
The numbers be.... '7' and '2'

 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 12th Dec '05 12:31PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Eight!

Sorry!

ALso, Clara's funds have now been transferred to Kelly. (Well, not all of them, but a substantial proportion of them.)
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Mon 12th Dec '05 12:43PM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04
I am sat here crying.
I should never have trusted a lawyer.
 

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Mon 12th Dec '05 12:49PM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03


Clara was bold enough to comment:
I am sat here crying.
I should never have trusted a lawyer.



I'll tell you what.

I'll give you half of your money back in exchange for all of your status symbols.

There now - you can't say lawyers aren't kind at heart!
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Mon 12th Dec '05 3:08PM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04


Kelly was bold enough to comment:


Clara was bold enough to comment:
I am sat here crying.
I should never have trusted a lawyer.



I'll tell you what.

I'll give you half of your money back in exchange for all of your status symbols.

There now - you can't say lawyers aren't kind at heart!



As kind as your offer is, I think I shall decline... Harumph...
 

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Mon 12th Dec '05 3:44PM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03


Clara was bold enough to comment:


Kelly was bold enough to comment:


Clara was bold enough to comment:
I am sat here crying.
I should never have trusted a lawyer.



I'll tell you what.

I'll give you half of your money back in exchange for all of your status symbols.

There now - you can't say lawyers aren't kind at heart!



As kind as your offer is, I think I shall decline... Harumph...



OK, how about just the racehorse and art collection then? Or any combination?
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Tue 13th Dec '05 8:26AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04


Kelly was bold enough to comment:


Clara was bold enough to comment:


Kelly was bold enough to comment:


Clara was bold enough to comment:
I am sat here crying.
I should never have trusted a lawyer.



I'll tell you what.

I'll give you half of your money back in exchange for all of your status symbols.

There now - you can't say lawyers aren't kind at heart!



As kind as your offer is, I think I shall decline... Harumph...



OK, how about just the racehorse and art collection then? Or any combination?



Hands off my status symbols! They're mine, do you hear me? Mine! (Well, for the time being anyway!)
 

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Tue 13th Dec '05 12:05PM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05
i want more life insurance!!!!!

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 13th Dec '05 3:16PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Arabstrap accordingly has more life insurance added to his stock. We all nervously look in the other direction and sidle away from Clara and Kelly's remonstrations.

Next, then, is Spanners, who spins a 5 and lands on "Hurricane hits top holiday resort. Pay 135,000 or hand in a luxury villa card." Having given up his villa last turn, Spanners pays the cash.

Swoop, the newest retiree, spins a 10, bringing him to a stop at "Toll bridge. Pay 50,000 to the poorest player." And it's Mildred again!

Arabstrap next: spins an 8 and lands on "Build a propotype. Pay 65,000." No scientists around here, so that goes straight to the bank.

Clara spins a 4 and... retires! Clara, you have received a Rolls-Royce (resale value 4,000) and 350,000 for your life insurances! Go you!

Kelly spins a 2, landing on "Option to purchase Status Symbol for 36,000." Tempted, Kelly?
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Tue 13th Dec '05 7:20PM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
Symbol me up! I want one! Preferably one of Clara's, but I'll make do with a fresh one I suppose.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 14th Dec '05 3:15PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Congratulations! You are now the owner of a private jet with a resale value of 10,000.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 14th Dec '05 3:16PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Continuing play, then: Mildred, it's gambling time again! Name your numbers.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Wed 14th Dec '05 3:44PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
I'd like to venture Three and Two please Malcolm
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 14th Dec '05 4:03PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
And the number is... EIGHT. Bad luck again, Milders. Oh well; you've got several more people still to pass the toll bridge.

Spanners, next, spins an 8, landing on "Tax rebate. Receive 80,000." Good grief, Spanners - will this income-raising ever end?

Swoop next: spins a 1 and goes to "Hire a luxury yacht. Pay 100,000 or hand in a luxury yacht card." Fortunately, Swoop, one of your two status symbols is indeed a luxury yacht, so you are spared! Phew.

Arabstrap next: spins a 6, sending him neatly spinning into retirement! Arabstr, your new status symbol is an art collection (resale value 6,000), and you have received 100,000 from your life insurances and 25,000 for your offspring. Congratulations!

Clara: spins a 3 and lands on "Gone fishing. Miss one turn." Bad luck, Clara; hope you don't catch any.

Next is Kelly, our only non-retired player. She spins an 8 and zooms onward to... oh, crikey! I spoke too soon! Kelly, you are now retired too. You receive a beach villa (resale value 9,000), and a whopping 100,000 from your offspring. Also, though - and brace yourselves, everyone, because here's the shocker - you have amassed 17 life insurance certificates... worth a staggering EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS, sending you directly into pole position as The Game's Richest Player.

And, on that bombshell, I think we all deserve a short moment to mop our brows and reflect on the fact that we really should have been more dilligent about buying life insurance certificates.

(Mildred may also wish to consider two more numbers to bet on next turn.)
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 15th Dec '05 10:58AM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Shall I tell you my numbers for my next turn now? (why maintain the suspense any longer, after all!)

I would like SIX and ONE please Carol (I mean, Malcolm - sorry, went into Countdown mode for a second there)

Oh please God let my numbers come up for once!
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 15th Dec '05 12:54PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Oh, Mildred, I'm sorry, but Old Father Chance doesn't seem to be smiling upon you today. The number was THREE. You leave with... exactly the same as you came in with.

Spanners, next, spins a 6 and darts off to...

to...

to.... THE END! Congratulations, Spanners - you are the first player to reach the Nillionaire's Mansion, and therefore receive a bonus of TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND, firmly confirming your current standing as Second Richest Player.

However, it doesn't end here - only when all players have reached the Country Cottage or the Millionaire's Mansion does the final reckoning take place. Shouldn't be long now...

Swoop spins a 5 and pops over to "Tax investigation. Pay accountant 80,000." Hope he was chartered, Swoop.

Arabstrap spins a 6, thereby landing on the Toll Bridge. 50,000 is duly paid to Mildred.

Clara, still out fishing, misses a turn.

Kelly - or Kelly The Incredibly Wealthy, as she has recently come to be known - spins another 6 therefore also goes to the Toll Bridge. That's another 50,000 to Mildred!

And so, Mildred, it's back to you. Your numbers are...?
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 15th Dec '05 1:07PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
FOUR and EIGHT please Malcolm

(I am crossing all my fingers, all my toes, my legs, my arms, and anything else that can feasibly be crossed - lungs etc.)

I don't hold out much hope though
 

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