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Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 9th Feb '06 7:56PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
So, to continue: Clara needs at least a four to reach the Millionaires' Mansion, thereby ending the game.

And so, Madame Spinner has been consulted, and has provided us with...

An eight.

Clara arrives in the Millionaire's Mansion, and

The Game of Life is officially closed.


I can therefore reveal that the final scores are as follows:

In sixth place, Swoop with 40,000.
In fifth place, Arabstrap with 47,000.
In fourth place, Mildred with 200,000.
In third place, Clara with 412,000.
In second place, Kelly with 970,000.
And in first place,
Spanners, with 1,167,032.92!

Congratulations, Spanners!

Spanners, Kelly and Clara - please step up to the winners' podium to receive your glory!



   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 9th Feb '06 9:01PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Congratulations and thanks to all players for a well-played and exciting game.

I think it only fitting that we take a moment to look back at a misty-eyed montage of some of the highs and lows of the game, in the style of a soap opera when a character has died, or an irreverent current affairs programme when a politician has lost a leadership contest. Come with me now, as we relive a small part of that game that we loved to call...

The Game Of Life, 2005-2006
(click here for some poignant yet inspiring background music
to accompany our reminiscences.)


We began, all those weeks ago, with six fresh-faced young contestants, bright-eyed with dreams:




Along the way, there has been joyous extravagance...



...utter desperation...



...and sheer misery.



There's been drama...



...and jealousy...



...and seduction.



We've had throwbacks to the 1980s...



...and throwbacks to the 1970s...



...and throwbacks to the 1890s.



There have been cases of glamorous showbusiness...



...and cases of disappearing contestants...



...and cases of genetic modification.



But all the while, we've been supported by a dedicated band of followers:










But, of course, before we close, let's spare a thought for those poor hopefuls who never even made it into the audience, never mind the game:







And so, with a heavy heart and a roguish wink, that's all from me. It's been an honour to be your GOLmaster for these past weeks and months - should you ever need my services again, don't hesitate to call.

   

Diziet
optical moose
Thu 9th Feb '06 9:10PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05
at risk of repeating myself, can i just say that your recap made me laugh so hard i did a poo? (and a bit of a wee as well, if i'm honest...)

absoloutely brilliant game, malcolm. you deserve an award


Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Fri 10th Feb '06 8:28AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04
Awards deserved indeed. I thought I looked damn good on that podium too!

Here's something to congratulate ya, Malcolm.
 

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Fri 10th Feb '06 9:18AM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05
Twas indeed a grand game, spanning many poignient phases of my life. Thanks and congratulations to you, Malc.

Oh yeah, longest thread in the world ever (about one continuous subject, too)!!!

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 10th Feb '06 10:31AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04


Diziet was bold enough to comment:

i would've thought any board game would work....maybe not



You're right that you could play any game online, but you also need to consider that you want one that will work well...

For instance I've got a couple of board games that I initially considered, but then I realised that in oredto play them people would have to make about six or seven decisions per go. On top of that other players can respond to their actions, so it wouldn't just be a case of them making all the decisions in one post. Finally the board changes every turn and so you'd need to keep it accessible to everyone. End result, a lot of work for each player, a lot of work for the person running the game, and a lot of posts to the thread.

At the other end of the scale there's Snakes and Ladders, which would basically be the person running the game pre-playing the game and then telling people what happens... Interesting maybe, and it couldstill be tense, but not necessarily enjoyable for any of the players...

GOL neatly falls between these two - there are regular decisions for the players to make, but the person running it can pretty much keep it ticking over. It wouldn't even take them much effort once they got going. I believe Malcolm has been able to ran this game with little more than a list of the squares on the board, a list of dice that have been pre-rolled, and a list of cards that have been predrawn. End result - he could run it off his palmtop with very little effort.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be possible to have a game of trivial pursuit online, and in fact if it did work I reckon it'd be rather fun to have a game of trivial pursuit online (and I'm more than happy to oin in - if only to prove myself wrong) I'm just not sure if it would actually if it would work, or if it would become drawn out and tedious
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 10th Feb '06 10:39AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:
End result - he could run it off his palmtop with very little effort.




Very little effort? VERY LITTLE EFFORT?

Why, you...
   

Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Fri 10th Feb '06 11:18AM
4597 Posts
Spanners's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
Wahey that was mharvellous! Well played Malc for being our omnipresent gamesmaster. And that was a quality action round-up
    

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 10th Feb '06 11:33AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Very little effort? VERY LITTLE EFFORT?

Why, you...



Of course the effort of actually running the mechanics of the game is completely separate from the large amount of anguish, heartache, tears, blood, sweat and of course real actual physical pain* that were required to keep the game interesting, exciting, tense, fresh, new and generally free from actual physical pain** for everyone else involved. For which we are all grateful!

Hey, wow, where did this big hole I'm standing in come from? And why am I holding this spade?

It also occurs to me that I have yet to add - Marvellous! Congratulations Spannners I was sure Kelly had it, but that last big win typed the odds in your favour

And to everyone else, remember, it's not the winning it's the grudge match later...!






*That's actual physical pain in a good way.

** And that's actual physical pain in a very BAD way.
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Fri 10th Feb '06 11:43AM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
Marvellous round up. Shame about the result, but I'll beat Spanners next time...

Thanks Malcolm!
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 10th Feb '06 12:00PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:

Hey, wow, where did this big hole I'm standing in come from? And why am I holding this spade?




Excellent hole-escaping effort! You are entirely forgiven.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Fri 10th Feb '06 2:44PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Malcolm, I think you should set up a helpline for those of us who are overwhelmed with sadness at the departure from our lives of this veritable Game of Life... like when Take That split up... and when Sunset Beach went off the air... mew

Also, though, can I just say: HOORAY! I DIDN'T LOSE!
Considering I had been totally resigned to losing for the last half of the game, it was something of a delightful surprise to see that I had actually come fourth despite all sorts of horrible financial setbacks along the way

Well done to spanners for being the richest, and to everyone else who played (you cut-throat lot!), and to all those who cheered us on from the sidelines - and, of course, a huge thanks to Malcolm and his trusty palm pilot, who made it possible for us to spend our days merrily gambling fictional sums of make-believe cash, and considering what to name our imaginary spouses (Rufus Pifflehead, I will miss you), and how to educate our imaginary children (poor little Marmaduke and whats-her-name, I'd better hand you back to your birth-parents now), etc. etc. etc.!

It's, like, the end of an era. She sighs, wistfully.

Ooh, could we play monopoly next? How about scrabble? (oh my god, the latter is totally unfeasible - but wld be rather fun if it wasn't! but then i would say that, as an english graduate, wouldn't i...)
 

Diziet
optical moose
Sat 11th Feb '06 4:19PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:


I'm not saying it wouldn't be possible to have a game of trivial pursuit online, and in fact if it did work I reckon it'd be rather fun to have a game of trivial pursuit online (and I'm more than happy to oin in - if only to prove myself wrong) I'm just not sure if it would actually if it would work, or if it would become drawn out and tedious



actually, when i play it at home it often gets drawn out due to people getting gradually more and more drunk. the only time it doesn't get drawn out is when i play the cat, and thats only coz he's memorised all the answers and wipes the floor with me in half an hour.


Swoop*
CHIMPO
Sun 12th Feb '06 2:08AM
1558 Posts
Swoop's Avatar
Member Since
9th Apr '03
What about Hungery Hippos next? Malcolm could mash the levers on our behalf, according to individually selected ratios of frequency.
 

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Mon 13th Feb '06 2:19PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Maybe someone with lots of time on their hands would like to invent a board game for us to play on the forum? It could be based on the Game of Life, say, but more realistic in terms of actual life ? so, for example, there would be squares with things like ?You drop your toast buttered side down ? go back 2 spaces?, or ?You win the prize for the best dressed badger at your local church fete ? receive ?200 and a jar of gooseberry conserve?, or ?You get your new tie shredded in the shredder at work. Receive ?5,000 in compensation for emotional trauma? and so on....

Failing that - kerplunk? Mousetrap!
 

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