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Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Thu 10th Nov '05 8:42AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Next comes Clara, who spins a 7 (Arabstrap must be veritably weeping at this news) and therefore gets married! Hooray! It brings a tear to my eye, it really does. As for wedding presents, she spins a 2 and therefore receives 4,000 from each player! A highly profitable wedding, Clara - which, after all, is what these occasions are all about.



Woohoo. All my dreams have come true AND I've made a tidy sum of cash. My dress was in the style of a big snowball and I had thirteen bridemaids. My groom's name is Stardust and he is a part time wandering minstrel. His sister is a revel and brother an M&M.
 

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 10th Nov '05 9:31AM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Congratulations to everyone on their nuptials!

By the way, my husband is called Rufus Pifflehead (just call me Mrs Pifflehead from now on); he likes his eggs boiled for five minutes each morning, is a keen fan of the novels of Virgina Woolf, and eschews all forms of badger. He also has an extensive collection of soap animals.
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 10th Nov '05 10:26AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Might I say how delighted I am that married life is suiting you all so well. It's touching that a game such as this is bringing together these intimite details of people's everyday lives in such a warm and enriching environment.

However, there are important matters to attend to: Mildred's turn. Mildred spins a 9, taking her all the way to:

Option to purchase Status Symbol for 12,000.


This calls for another spot of rule-explaining:


Throughout the game, you'll be offered the chance to but randomly-selected Status Symbols for various amounts of money. Generally speaking, the later in the game you are, the more they will cost. A status symbol may be, for example, a private jet, or an antique collection. Each has a resale value, should you need to raise some cash, but the resale value is always very low (certainly less than you paid for it).

The real reason they're useful is this:
Retirement.

There's a red space, about three-quarters of the way round the board, on which each player must retire. Upon retirement, you:
  • Discard your career and stop receiving your salary
  • Receive some money for each child you have
  • Take an extra Status Symbol
  • Receive 50,000 for each Life Insurance certificate you have
  • Are ordered to pay off your credit cards, immediately, at 50,000 each (remember, they only cost 25,000 if you pay them off before retirement).

And, from this point onwards, life becomes very expensive. The last section of the game is filled with squares like "Oil market slump. Pay 100,000 or hand in an Oil Well card." Generally, the amounts of money are very high - but in each case, you'll be spared if you have the appropriate Status Symbol. So, when you land on an Option to Purchase Status Symbol space, it's a gamble - you're choosing whether or not to pay some money out now , just in case it'll save you a fortune later.

Explanation over.

Mildred - what's it to be? Status Symbol for 12,000?
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Thu 10th Nov '05 11:32AM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
May I just add that I am now happily married to a man named Flark. He's the chief executive of a cocoa company based in Tansania. Together we are unstoppable.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 10th Nov '05 12:52PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
You're all ridiculous.

Tell you what - while we await Mildred's Status Symbol decision, let's carry on with the game.

Spanners spins a 3, bringing him to "A daughter! Take a pink peg. Receive 2,000 from each player". You've got quite the family going on there, Spanners. I trust a short bigraphy of your daughter's life so far is forthcoming.

Swoop, next - spins a 5 and lands on "Move abroad - pay 8,000". That's 2 out of 6 of you who've emigrated so far - is this some kind of revolt? Anyway, again, there's no Pilot in the game, so the money goes to the United Bank of Malcolm.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 10th Nov '05 12:57PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Mildred - what's it to be? Status Symbol for 12,000?




Please may I just check my current financial situation? (now there is a question I never thought I would be formulating on the forum!) What with all the recent expenditure on wedding presents and night classes, not to mention keeping my husband in boiled eggs and the style to which he has become accustomed, I have entirely lost track of my bank balance (but suspect it is very very low )

Congratulations, Spanners, on the arrival of your first-born - best wishes to Cassandra and the little Spannerette
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 10th Nov '05 1:16PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
An entirely sensible request. Unfortunately I'm away from the requisite equipment and cannot therefore provide a visual representation of the board, but the time is certainly ripe to give a summary of everyone's status. In reverse alphabetical order:

Swoop, a married scientist. 71,000 and 1 credit card debt.

Spanners, a married athlete with one daughter. 129,000 and 3 life insurance certificates.

Mildred, a married artist. 50,000, one credit card debt, and one life insurance certificate. Currently in discussions about a possible Status Symbol acquisition for 12,000.

Kelly, a married lawyer. 16,000, two credit card debts and four life insurance certificates.

Clara, a married teacher. 41,000, 1 credit card debt and three life insurance certificates.

Arabstrap, a married salesperson. 157,000.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 10th Nov '05 2:19PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Go on then, I will have a status symbol - I think - yes, yes, I will!
(oh dear, this is all rather complicated - eeek!)

I am most intrigued to discover what this status symbol might be!
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 10th Nov '05 3:14PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
An excellent decision, Mildred! Your randomly-selected status symbol is:

An oil well - resale value 8,000


Congratulations, you rampant capitalist you.

Tell you what - let's have another go. We return to Arabstrap, who spins a 4 and lands on "Win a marathon - receive 10,000." You're raking it in here, 'Strap... but will it last?

Next is Clara, spinning an 8 and landing on the dreaded square...

TAX


Quite simply, each career has a number on the spinner associated with it. The spinner is spun, and if your career comes up, you pay whatever tax is associated with your salary. So, here goes - Spin, Mr. Taxman, spin!

And the number is...

EIGHT, which equates to ACTOR. Fortunately this isn't any of you, so you can all breathe a small sigh of relief. For now.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 11th Nov '05 10:24AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
It's Friday!

And that can only mean one thing - the Game of Life continues just as it did on other days!

Without further ado, then: Kelly spins an 8, taking her to "A son! Take a blue peg. Receive 2,000 from each player." Our best wishes to you, Flark and Kelly-Flark Junior.

Mildred, next, spins another 8, taking her to "Attend gala charity movie premiere. Pay 18,000." That's a pretty steeply priced cinema ticket, Mildred - hope it was worth it! If there'd been an actor amongst us, the 18,000 would have gone to them - but alas, no. To the bank it goes.

Onto Spanners, then, who spins YET ANOTHER 8 (4 in a row now), landing on a potentially devastating square:

Sue another player for 50,000.


This could get very interesting.... who's it to be, Spanners?
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 11th Nov '05 1:28PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
What film was it Mildred? and was it fun? I look forward to reading about it in the next issue of Hello!

Oh and Spanners, as harsh as it is, I recommend the 'Strap, he's got the most money free I believe...

Although I've got to admit, part of me really wants you to pick someone like Kelly, who can't afford itand would be forced further into debt. Viscious I know, but fun all the same...
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 11th Nov '05 1:43PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Normally I would frown upon attempts to influence the behaviour of other players, but since Amanshu isn't actually taking part in the game I've decided it's allowed. Feel free to offer further incitements / accusations / commentary as the game proceeds!
   

Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Sat 12th Nov '05 12:41AM
4597 Posts
Spanners's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:
Spanners spins a 3, bringing him to "A daughter! Take a pink peg. Receive 2,000 from each player". You've got quite the family going on there, Spanners. I trust a short bigraphy of your daughter's life so far is forthcoming.


I'm the daddy!
Get in!
My daughter shall be called Bernadette Elderberry-McFly III and despite only being 36 hours old, myself and Cassandra are already seeking to gain her a Harvard scholarship on the merit of her prodigious ablilities at gurgling and sucking her own toes. Daddy's little girl.

Hmm, as to the sueing thing, as Amanshu suggested the evil of sueing Kelly could I sue him? He can give me a cheque...
Alternatively I'll have to go for 'strap 'cos otherwise it's a world of karma coming at me for suing a debt-ridden mother.
    

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Sat 12th Nov '05 9:00AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Arabstrap is accordingly sued. That's one large payment, given that we don't even know what he's done to Spanners! However, 'tis done, causing Spanners to steal the top spot in the cash-rich player stakes.

We move on from this Blue-esque courtroom drama. Swoop spins a 4, bringing him to "Option to purchase Status Symbol for 10,000." What do you reckon, Swoop - tempted?
   

Swoop*
CHIMPO
Sat 12th Nov '05 12:49PM
1558 Posts
Swoop's Avatar
Member Since
9th Apr '03
I certainly am tempted! Hit me with your best profane luxury item!
 

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Sat 12th Nov '05 1:23PM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05


Spanners was bold enough to comment:

Alternatively I'll have to go for 'strap 'cos otherwise it's a world of karma coming at me for suing a debt-ridden mother.



forget karma, spanners. there's a world of pain coming at you now. i neglected to mention that my wife is a voodoo princess who commands an army of small cockney rodents. your card is marked, sunshine.... life is about to get VERY miserable for you AND your no-win, no-fee lawyer.

a thumb, of gigantic proportions!

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Sat 12th Nov '05 1:55PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
This just goes to show that all those people who say things like "It's only a game" are fundamentally underestimating the seriousness of The Game Of Life. Nonetheless, though, I suspect that may be the first time ever that the phrase "Your card is marked, sunshine" has been uttered while playing it. I thorougly approve!

Meanwhile, we return temporarily to Swoop, who has just acquired a beach villa with a resale value of 9,000. We bow down before your real-estate portfolio, Swoop.

Let's now see if we can't pacify Arabstrap slightly with another go. He spins a 2, bringing him to "You're fired! Start a new career." Oh dear - Arabstrap's going to have a coronary at this rate. However, all may not be lost; let's see what Old Father Fortune has in mind for Young Master Strap:

You have been awarded a career of...

Actor

with a salary of...

15,000 (with 3,500 tax)

Take cover, everybody - Arabstrap's not going to be happy with this. Good grief, no..

Let's try and distract him by moving onto Clara's turn. She spins a 5, taking her to "Option to purchase status symbol for 12,000." Clara, are you interested?
   

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Sun 13th Nov '05 11:07AM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05
i'm ruined.

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Mon 14th Nov '05 8:23AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Let's try and distract him by moving onto Clara's turn. She spins a 5, taking her to "Option to purchase status symbol for 12,000." Clara, are you interested?



Yes please - status symbol me up. Always wanting to have visual proof of wealth - such a refined and sophisticated thing to do.
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 14th Nov '05 11:00AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Clara, you are now the proud owner of an Antiques COllection, resale value 5,000. How cultured.

Next is Kelly, who spins a 5 and moves to "Buy a year's supply of nappies - pay 5,000." If there'd still been a salesperson in our ranks, the money would have gone to him; sadly, though, Arabstrap's recent career change means we don't. It just keeps getting worse and worse.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 14th Nov '05 1:43PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Now for Mildred. However, before we proceed with Mildred's turn, a quick visual update of where the players currently stand:




You'll notice that red space above and to the left of Mildred. That's one of the squares on which every player must stop. (Getting married was another one.) Mildred spins a four and duly reaches it:

"Take one Status Symbol. On your next turn declare the path you wish to take."


Mildred, you are therefore awarded an antiques collection, with a resale value of 5,000. You have until before the spinner is spun on your next go to tell me which path you would like. The upper path (see photo) contains these spaces:
  • The stock market slumps. Pay 25,000.
  • Win a quiz show. Receive 60,000.
  • Option to purchase status symbol for 22,000.
  • Car stolen. Receive 10,000 in insurance.
  • You inherit a skunk farm. Pay 15,000 to get rid of it.
  • Casino. Receive 20,000. Keep it or risk it for 80,000.

And the lower path contains:
  • Film royalties. Receive 65,000.
  • A daughter! Take a pink peg. Receive 2,000 from each player.
  • School fees. Pay 9,000 per child (to a teacher, if there is one)
  • Bonus pay. Receive 8,000.
  • Attend lectures. Pay 12,000 (to a scientist, if there is one)
  • Charity aid concert. Pay 23,000 (to a rock star, if there is one)
  • TAX.

and the red "stop" space at the end of both paths is "If you are the last player to reach this space, take another turn at once."

So, we'll need your answer shortly, Milders.

Next we move to Spanners, who spins a 5 and goes straight to "Get sued for libel. Pay 40,000 in legal costs." At this point Kelly, as our lawyer, CASHES IN severely by receiving the 40,000. Maybe you should have sued her after all.

Swoop spins a 9 and hurtles forward to "Twins! Take two pegs. Receive 5,000 from each player." You have been awarded identical twin girls, Swoop. Your fertility impresses us all.

Next is Arabstrap, who spins a 7 and lands on "Attend gala charity movie premiere. Pay 18,000." Fortunately, though, Arabstrap is our resident actor, and therefore gets to pay the fees to himself. Maybe things are finally looking up, Arabstrap.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Mon 14th Nov '05 4:20PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

So, we'll need your answer shortly, Milders.




Please may I proceed along the lower path?

I am most pleased with my antiques collection by the way! (she says, jumping up and down enthusiastically on her louis quinze chaise longue whilst juggling a ming vase on her little toe)
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 14th Nov '05 5:10PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Mildred, your request has been noted. You shall indeed Take The Low Road on the next turn. (But I'll be on Scotland afore ye.)

Next is Spanners, leaping into action by spinning a 4, bringing him to the exact same square as Mildred. You, Spanners, have been randomly awarded an Art Collection with a resale value of 6,000. You also have the same choice - which route will it be?

Swoop next - spins a 4 and hurtles headlong onto "Seats at the World Cup - pay 10,000". Sounds a bit overpriced to me, Swoop, but I hope you enjoy it!
   

Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Mon 14th Nov '05 5:42PM
4597 Posts
Spanners's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
I think I'll go upper route cheers Malc. Gotta watch the pennies with reckless lawyer folks lurking round every corner waiting to pilfer me pocket change!
    

Swoop*
CHIMPO
Mon 14th Nov '05 10:11PM
1558 Posts
Swoop's Avatar
Member Since
9th Apr '03
Thank you for your generous donations, which helped fund the Viking christening of my twin daughters, Death Crow and Julia. Without those funds I'd never have been able to afford the traditional ransacking of an enemy village, nor the pretty lace mittens made of the skins of their enemies!
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 15th Nov '05 11:06AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Welcome to the seventeenth day in this, the 2005 DaddyDotOrg Game Of Life Competition. It's a beautiful morning across the UK, and we join the action with Arabstrap, a lowly-paid actor with a substantial cash reserve.

Arabstrap spins a 5 and reaches the now highly populous Stop space - "Take one status symbol. On next turn declare the path you wish to take." You, Arabstrap, have been awarded a racehorse, with a resale value of 3,000. Please see above for your route choices - which do you wish to take?

Clara next - she spins a 5, leading her to... oh dear... is it? Yes, I think it is... it's

Sue any one player for 50,000.


So, yet again, we find a dastardly decision is waiting to be made. Who's it to be, Clara?
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Tue 15th Nov '05 11:58AM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I please have a run down of the situation of the various players?...
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 15th Nov '05 2:38PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Hmm - OK then. I won't post another picture yet, as not everybody's had a go since the last one, but the statistics currently stand as follows (all players are married):

Arabstrap
Actor
190,000 in savings
No children.

Clara
Teacher
70,000 in savings
Three life insurance certificates
Antiques collection worth 5,000
1 credit card
No children.

Kelly
Lawyer
60,000 in savings
6 life insurance certificates
2 credit cards
One son.

Mildred
Artist
53,000 in savings
1 life insurance certificate
Antiques collection worth 5,000
Oil well worth 8,000
1 credit card
No children.

Spanners
Athlete
162,000 in savings
6 life insurance certificates
Art collection worth 6,000
One daughter.

Swoop
Scientist
140,000 in savings
Beach villa worth 9,000
1 credit card
Two daughters.

I have not repeated players' salaries here because a gentleman avoids discussing these matters. However, the information is in earlier posts to this thread should you require it.
   

Clara
Even red onions have a silver lining
Tue 15th Nov '05 3:12PM
838 Posts
Clara's Avatar
Member Since
27th Sep '04
Ta muchly. In which case (and I hate to do this to our Master) I think it will have to be Spanners. Humble, humble apologies...
 

Arabstrap
Daddy-licious
Tue 15th Nov '05 3:21PM
215 Posts
Arabstrap's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jun '05
die, err, lower-bahn, bitte.

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