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Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Thu 4th May '06 11:37PM
2708 Posts
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Member Since
25th Aug '04


Demian was bold enough to comment:


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
Fancy some beef then, Demian?



Beef me up!



Outstanding! Let the beef be consumed! You both start on square one, which means you both have to pay 5,000 DOTs for the barbeque...

The Guv's go next. He rolls... a 6! Which moves him up to the mysterious fez guy. Who's going to joing you in your gamble Governor?
   

The Guv
I have no idea what to put here........ HELP ME
Fri 5th May '06 5:45AM
320 Posts
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Member Since
29th Nov '04
Can i have a gamble with Malcolm please

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 5th May '06 9:32AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04


The Guv was bold enough to comment:
Can i have a gamble with Malcolm please



Malcolm it is.

I'll need up to four numbers between 1 and 10 from you please, The Guv. It'll cost you 5,000 DOTs per number!
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Fri 5th May '06 10:19AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03


The Guv was bold enough to comment:
Can i have a gamble with Malcolm please



Ooh, thank you, Your Guvness!
   

The Guv
I have no idea what to put here........ HELP ME
Fri 5th May '06 6:11PM
320 Posts
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Member Since
29th Nov '04
can i have 7 and 1 please

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 5th May '06 7:55PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Righto! Malcolm, can I have upto three other numbers from you please?
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 8th May '06 9:25AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
I'd like 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 please.

Oh, no, hang on - I meant 4, 5 and 6.
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Mon 8th May '06 11:00AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
So for a total pot of 19,000 DOTs the spinner comes up with...

10

Which means neither of you win, and the money will be added to the next pot.

Mildred's go now and she gets a 1, putting her on the beef square as well!

Who would you like to join you in your personal beef-fest Mildred? Unfortunately Demian and Kelly are already embarked on one, so you can't choose them, but otherwise you can pick anyone you want!

Next up is Demian. He's in a beef-fest with Kelly so he starts on square one, meaning he immediately has to pay for his barbeque! He then proceeds to roll a 6, which is halved to 3 and he ends up eating a portion of beef! Well done Demian, only two more to go!

It'll have to wait there until Mildred decides who's going to join her in the beef.
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Mon 8th May '06 1:23PM
212 Posts
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Member Since
13th Sep '04
Oh good heavens, beef-a-rama. Please can I have a roasted aubergine fest instead of a beef-fest? And, having done eeny-meeny-miney-mo on all contestants not currently embarked on a beef/vegetable extravaganza, I would like to invite the Guv to join me in this endeavour, if that suits him?

I'm not even going to attempt to understand the intricacies of the beef board... I shall instead saunter blithely along, trusting entirely to Amanshu's explanation of the rules as we go

p.s. 5000 DOTS seems very expensive for a barbeque! But then, since we don't know the rate of exchange between DOTS and English pounds, it could actually be stunningly cheap.
 

The Guv
I have no idea what to put here........ HELP ME
Mon 8th May '06 8:53PM
320 Posts
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Member Since
29th Nov '04
Bring On the BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Mon 8th May '06 10:02PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Good Heavens! I've just noticed that I completely forgot to continue The Guv's go after he met the fez guy with Malcolm. How terrible of me.

Well, I guess I'll just have to fix that up and do a round of goes whilst I'm at it.

So, to finish off The Guv's go, he rolls a 2, taking him to square 29. A blank square. Ok.

Mildred has already had her go, as has Demian, which moves us back around to Malcolm, one of the two none beef/roasted aubergine-festers.

Malcolm rolls a one which puts him on square 38. I'm afraid you've befallen a rather bizarre series of events which ended up with you purchasing 20000 DOTs for what I'm sure you'll agree is a bargain price of 5000 DOTs. What on earth happened Malcolm?

Allen Key gets a 6! That takes her to 32 (and have 12000 DOTs on the way) where she sells a toe to medical science for 2000 DOTs. That leaves half of the contestants limping! My word...

Anyway, Allen Key's second roll is a 1! Which puts her on...

So now Malcolm and Allen Key are also at a beef-fest. What are the chances?
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 9th May '06 10:21AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:

Malcolm rolls a one which puts him on square 38. I'm afraid you've befallen a rather bizarre series of events which ended up with you purchasing 20000 DOTs for what I'm sure you'll agree is a bargain price of 5000 DOTs. What on earth happened Malcolm?




I simply applied The Five Economic Tests and determined that now was a prudent time to make such a move, in the interests of stability and growth.

edit: argh! Got by the b i z a r r e monster again, when I didn't even write it!
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Tue 9th May '06 2:34PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Right on with the fest!

Kelly rolls a 1, so she's eaten a portion of beef
The Guv rolls a 2, so he's burnt a portion of beef
Mildred rolls a 1, so she's eaten a portion of roasted aubergines
Demian rolls a 2, so he's eaten two portions of beef
Malcolm rolls a 1, so he's eaten a Brrrr-sigh... Crispy Vegetable Hand
Allen Key rolls a 1, so she's eaten a portion of beef

Phew! A good start from most, with Demian taking an early lead (but then he is the only one to have had two goes so far, so maybe that doesn't count). Only The Guv was in such a hurry for beefy goodness that he was unfortunate enough to burn his beef. Slow and steady The Guv! Slow and steady!
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 9th May '06 2:43PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Can I swap my beef for some Bird's Eye Crispy Vegetable Fingers instead?
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Tue 9th May '06 3:09PM
2708 Posts
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Member Since
25th Aug '04
Can you!

Well, no actually, since not only would that probably end up being copyright infringement in some manor of description, Birds Eye Crispy Vegetable Fingers are too small.

But one quick Pimp my snack later, and we have a Brrrr-sigh... Crispy Vegetable Hand instead. How's that for you?
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Wed 10th May '06 1:26PM
2708 Posts
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Member Since
25th Aug '04
And onto the fest part deux:

Kelly has rolled a 3 which means she's burnt two portions of beef
The Guv has rolled a 3 which means he's eaten two portions of beef
Mildred has rolled a 2 which means she's eaten a second portion of roasted aubergine
Demian has rolled a 3 which means he's completed the board! He had three portions of beef, so he's completed his quota and is awarded 10,000 DOTs!
Malcolm has rolled a 2 which means he's eaten a second Brrr-sigh... Crispy Vegetable Hand
Allen Key has rolled a 3 which means she's eaten a portion of beef

Phew. I think we should congratulate Demian on being the first to successfully battle with the brutish beef! In fact, I think we require a speech!

----------------------------------------------------
The board and player status can be found here
The rules can be found here
An article about the Human Camera can be found here
   

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Wed 10th May '06 8:21PM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:
And onto the fest part deux:

Phew. I think we should congratulate Demian on being the first to successfully battle with the brutish beef! In fact, I think we require a speech!



Hey, I've already given one speech away today

However, I would just like say that I would not be standing here if it weren't for two very important men in my life; Mr Rawley Farnsworth, who was my high school drama teacher, who taught me to act well the part, there all the glory lies. And one of my classmates under Mr Farnsworth, Mr John Gilkerson.

I mention their names because they are two of the finest gay Americans, two wonderful men that I had the good fortune to be associated with, to fall under their inspiration at such a young age. I wish my babies could have the same sort of teacher, the same sort of friends. And there lies my dilemma here tonight. I know that my work in this case is magnified by the fact that the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels. We know their names. They number 1,000 for each of the red ribbons we wear here tonight.

They finally rest in the warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all. A healing embrace that cools their fevers, that clears their skin, and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident commonsense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all. And was written down on paper by wise men, tolerant men, in the city of Philadelphia 200 years ago. God bless you all, God have mercy on us all, and God bless America.
  

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 12th May '06 11:40AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
For some reason I was completely convinced that I did the next set of goes for this yesterday. Huh.

Anyway, you are completely right Demain, God Bless us all and God have mercy on America! No, wait...

Kelly rolls a 1 and has eaten two portions of beef

The Guv rolls a 2 and has also eaten two portions of beef and he's completed the board! He's also eaten his quota, so he gets 10,000 DOTs for his efforts. Well done The Guv!

Mildred has rolled a 3 and so she's unfortunately burnt two roasted aubergines

Demian is back on the main board, and he's rolled a 4. Reprogram brain on a whim. Travel half your dice roll for next 3 goes. Sorry Demian looks like you're in the slow lane for now.

Malcolm has rolled a 3. He's only gone and burnt two Brrr-sigh... Crispy Vegetable Hands

Allen Key has got a 1, that means she's also burning two portions of beef. Oh dear, everyone seems to be a bit of a butter-fingers today, don't they?

That's all for now folks, if you're lucky I might manage another go before the weekend starts!

----------------------------------------------------
The board and player status can be found here
The rules can be found here
A big red button that really doesn't do anything can be found here
   

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Fri 12th May '06 12:57PM
212 Posts
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Member Since
13th Sep '04
What if I don't mind eating burnt aubergine?!

On second thoughts that would actually be rather grim!
 

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Tue 16th May '06 8:35AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04


Mildred was bold enough to comment:
What if I don't mind eating burnt aubergine?!



Well you could eat it - but as you said it would be rather grim, and unfortunately it wouldn't be the all important roasted aubergine you need. I'm not entirely sure of the chemical difference between burnt and roasted aubergine, but I fell sure that there is one.

Anyway - on with the game!

Kelly has rolled a 2! That means she's eaten a further two portions of beef and finished the board! That means she's eaten a grand total of five portions of beef - worth a whopping 30,000 DOTs and gained the first connoisseur's eyebrow! Well Done Kelly! (To remind you the connoisseur's eyebrow is completely useless in terms of the game. But it is rather soft and strokeable, and it looks nice in the right light. Probably.).

The Guv Has had all his beef and so he's back on the normal board. He gets a 1 which moves him upto square 30 - he gets 11,000 DOTs and a random square card...

Stay tuned to see what happens next!
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Tue 16th May '06 9:27AM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
Who wants my eyebrow in return for a wannabe? Please confirm to this thread, but PM me your address so the eyebrow can be sent by express courrier.
   

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Tue 16th May '06 6:38PM
4678 Posts
Demian's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
Who wants my eyebrow in return for a wannabe? Please confirm to this thread, but PM me your address so the eyebrow can be sent by express courrier.



I'm in, as long as you shave one of Malcolm's off for me while he's asleep
  

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Wed 17th May '06 8:46AM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03


Demian was bold enough to comment:


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
Who wants my eyebrow in return for a wannabe? Please confirm to this thread, but PM me your address so the eyebrow can be sent by express courrier.



I'm in, as long as you shave one of Malcolm's off for me while he's asleep



It's on its way.
   

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 17th May '06 9:43AM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Kelly was bold enough to comment:


Demian was bold enough to comment:


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
Who wants my eyebrow in return for a wannabe? Please confirm to this thread, but PM me your address so the eyebrow can be sent by express courrier.



I'm in, as long as you shave one of Malcolm's off for me while he's asleep



It's on its way.



Right - that's it. I'm safely in my office in Leeds, and I'm not coming home. Never.
   

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Wed 17th May '06 11:39AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Where's Malley when you need him to hold someone down and shave their eyebrow off...? I mean really, I've lost track of the number of times he's let me down in this situation!

Anyway, I have absolutely no problem with wheeling and dealing in any game I happen to be running, so Demian if your happy letting Lazarus go, then I'll change him across for you!

Anyway, onto The Guv's random card which is:
Whilst discussing the neo-political impact of a retro-ironic society with a co-worker over a nice cuppa tea and a choccie biscuit, you happen to mention the Forum. Your co-worker is so enamoured by the idea and you gain a new Wannabe!

Congratulations The Guv! If you'll let me know the name of your wannabe when you can?

Mildred rolls a one making her the first person to complete a roasted-aubergine fest. It also means that she scoffs two roasted-aubergines at the end which means she's eaten four in total. No connoseur's eyebrow for you, but you do take away 10,000 DOTs for your troubles!

Demian's obviously trying desperately to catch up with everyone else - he gets a 5 taking him to square 28. And the square is quieter than an Antarctic winter.

Malcolm pulls exactly the same move as Mildred - he gets a one to complete the board and quickly scoffs two Brr-sigh... Crispy Hands on his way out. Have 10,000 DOTs.

Finally (for now) we have Allen Key, the only player who is still happily munching on beef. Or not so happily - with only one portion eaten she's got three squares to go. One square will complete her quota and give her a shot at the Connoseur's eyebrow, one of which will complete her quota and finish her fest, and one of which will end up with her burning her beef!

Will she manage to navigate this tricky time? Will the beef survive the encounter eaten? Or will it all go horribly wrong?

I don't think I can stand the tension. I'm going to have to go and have a nice little lie down.

----------------------------------------------------
The board and player status can be found here
The rules can be found here
An article about stress relief can be found here
   

Allen Key
Stagnating, like a packet of crisps on the roof.
Wed 17th May '06 12:25PM
510 Posts
Allen Key's Avatar
Member Since
10th Oct '04


Amanshu was bold enough to comment:

Finally (for now) we have Allen Key, the only player who is still happily munching on beef. Or not so happily - with only one portion eaten she's got three squares to go. One square will complete her quota and give her a shot at the Connoseur's eyebrow, one of which will complete her quota and finish her fest, and one of which will end up with her burning her beef!




Never mind the beef situation, surely the important point here is, why aren't I green? I should be green! Everyone else is in their own fancy colours! I feel rejected and unloved and I might cry, like this:
 

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Wed 17th May '06 1:18PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
I'm sorry, it's been very much one of those days

That combined with the tension means that I just had to leave it be and so I didn't properly read through the post like normal (generally I'll read them three or four times to make sure everything makes sense/I haven't missed anything/People are correctly coloured.

If it makes you feel any better I also forgot to colourise Lazarus and Demian (and I even spelt Demian's name wrong...), so really you came off quite lightly!

Anyway, it's all fixed now and I can finally reveal that Allen Key rolled a 2. This unfortunately means that she's on square 7 and she's burnt her beef. This means there's only one remaining beefy square for her to land on and still get her beef quota...
   

Allen Key
Stagnating, like a packet of crisps on the roof.
Wed 17th May '06 1:52PM
510 Posts
Allen Key's Avatar
Member Since
10th Oct '04
Thank you, Amanshu! You are a kind and just gamesmaster . I'm so cheered up that I don't even mind about my burnt beef. And to be honest, if I'm being forced to eat beef, I much prefer it on the charred side, rather than looking like something a good vet could get back on its feet.
 

The Guv
I have no idea what to put here........ HELP ME
Wed 17th May '06 10:53PM
320 Posts
The Guv's Avatar
Member Since
29th Nov '04
Can the new guy be called..........MNIE yes that MNIE

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Fri 19th May '06 9:26AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Arggghhh! I'd just written a lengthy update on people's moves and then the computer crashed

I'm not impressed.

Anyway, from memory.


Sure thing The Guv, your Wannabe is now called MNIE yes that MNIE.

Kelly gets a 4! That takes her to a nice relaxing square where she can happily digest all that beef she's just eaten.

The Guv gets a 6! That puts him on this square: Discover that your knee-bone is connected to your hip-bone. Collect 5,000 DOTs. Who knew anatomy could be so profitable?

For his second roll he gets a 2, which puts him on square 38: A rather bizarre series events ends up with you having to pay 5,000 DOTs. But it's not all bad news. If you can pay, then you get 20,000 DOTs back. Fortunately he can pay, so a jolly profitable round for him this time. Although I've got to say, what on earht happened The Guv?

Not to outdone, Mildred also gets a 6, which rather nicely jump frogs her into the lead. It's also a nicely empty square, for her next roll she gets a 2. Another blank square, but it does move her past 40, and so she gets 11,000 DOTs for her trouble.

Next up is Demian who... God lord, he's also gone and got a 6. What is going on today? Unfortunately due to his new brain he's only moving at half speed, so that only takes him to square 31. However he's not going to settle for that. Oh no, he goes and rolls another 6, which takes him to the mysterious fez guy...
I'll need up to four numbers from you please Demian and the name of your gambler in crime.

And remember there's already 19,000 DOTs in the pot, so choose wisely...


----------------------------------------------------
The board and player status can be found here
The rules can be found here
A big blue button can be found here
   

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