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Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Tue 4th Jul '06 8:38AM
4597 Posts
Spanners's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
Opposable Thumbs 10/10
Can't be beat for all your grasping, clutching and general holding needs.
    

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Wed 5th Jul '06 9:49AM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
Nose 8/10
Very useful for smelling, and adding an interesting feature to your face and profile. Comes in many shapes and sizes, but can be rather painful when bashed.
Second opinion by Demian on 5th Jul '06 2/10
Given me nothing but grief my whole life. If it wasn't for the sense of smell and taste, I'd happily dispense with it altogether.
   Average Rating 5

Mildred
Daddy-licious
Thu 13th Jul '06 1:05PM
212 Posts
Mildred's Avatar
Member Since
13th Sep '04
Eyelashes 10/10
They stop objects rolling into your eyes, they provide an attractive fringe round the edge of your eye, you can flutter them if you want to look winsome, rain drops & snowflakes can balance on them, you can colour them in should you wish to do so (technically true of all body parts I suppose), you can buy small heated devices for making them curl upwards, and if one falls out and alights upon your cheek, you can make a wish on it. Basically a rather magical item which most of us are lucky enough to have growing out of our eyelids and which can provide us with hours of entertainment/personal grooming opportunities if we are so inclined. And if you haven't got eyelashes, or feel you are inadequate in this area, you can simply stick some fake ones on (not that I've ever tried this as the idea of putting glue very near to the edges of my eye alarms me, although there MUST be some built-in way of ensuring that you don't stick your eyelids together).

Hoorah for eyelashes.
 

Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Mon 24th Jul '06 4:50PM
4597 Posts
Spanners's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
Bums 10/10
Hold yer legs on, provide a lovely cushion for sitting purposes, are quite essential for classic perambulation and look very nice on the right people.
Second opinion by Diziet on 24th Jul '06 10/10
i agree - bums are wonderful things.

however, i choose to give mine 2/10 for the grief its giving me at the minute
Second opinion by General on 18th Jul '07 10/10
Second only to boobies in evolutions great triumphs!
    Average Rating 10

Mogwai
Unregistered
Wannabe
Forummer
Mon 4th Dec '06 11:33PM
Genetalia 10/10
Hours of fun!
Second opinion by Diziet on 5th Dec '06 10/10
the fun can range from mere seconds to hours for me, depending on what sort of mood i'm in.
Second opinion by Agentgonzo on 17th Jul '07 7/10
Allow much fun, but agonising if they get squished whilst sitting down too quickly
Second opinion by General on 18th Jul '07 9/10
Much as I was warned I still haven't gone blind.

Result!
Second opinion by HuMpO on 10th Apr '09 10/10
Very Fun.
Average Rating 9.2

Feign
It's your time you're wasting!
Sat 16th Dec '06 10:55AM
288 Posts
Feign's Avatar
Member Since
24th Dec '04
Elbows 10/10
Not on do they allow for different angling of the forearm to the upper arm, but flexing your ripped biceps wouldn't be half as impressive without them. They also have the capacity to cause a disproportionate amount of pain - I'm sure everyone has managed to hit their funny bone before now, but I recently discovered (rather stupidly) that if you manage to bash your elbow with enough force it causes the back of your hand to hurt.
This amount of power truly excels the elbow into the realm of top body parts.
Second opinion by Agentgonzo on 30th Jul '08 7/10
They've got the humorous in them, which is just annoying when you bash it. However, they do have the advantage in the fact that most people don't know they can't lick their own elbow, and the hilarity of watching them try gets bonus points.
 Average Rating 8.5

Emo Squid
sanctus, sanctus, sanctus
Tue 17th Jul '07 11:49AM
624 Posts
Emo Squid's Avatar
Member Since
23rd Feb '07
Eyes 9/10
You see out of em. All the beauty of nature. - 1 point for the amount of things that can go wrong with them!
Second opinion by General on 18th Jul '07 6/10
Mine don't work properly.

Stupid eyes.....
Second opinion by Mrsham on 18th Jul '07 9/10
You can also gaze into them and wonder at the infinitely mysterious and fragile beauty of another human being. Whilst the other human being wonders what this psycho is staring at and reaches for their stout stick.
Second opinion by Agentgonzo on 30th Jul '08 10/10
I can remember a girl in my scout group when I was at school had the most incredibly intense blue eyes. The first time I looked directly into them from close range (she was putting war-paint on my forehead) I was knocked speechless. Only time that's ever happened.
Average Rating 8.5

Amanshu*
Giggity Giggity goo
Tue 17th Jul '07 12:55PM
2708 Posts
Amanshu's Avatar
Member Since
25th Aug '04
That annoying spot between your shoulder blades that you can't scratch 1/10
That's just wrong, in every sense.
Second opinion by General on 17th Jul '07 5/10
Gonna have to give it a 5 as it's one out of ten when you can't quite reach it, but 10 out of ten when someone does it for you.

Ahhh scratchy!
Second opinion by Diziet on 17th Jul '07 8/10
gives me an excuse to do my Baloo the Bear impression by rubbing my back against a doorframe
   Average Rating 4.67

Agentgonzo
There's no pee in catheter!
Tue 17th Jul '07 3:29PM
811 Posts
Agentgonzo's Avatar
Member Since
8th Aug '06
Big rear spoilers 0/10
You don't need them on a road car and they just make cars look stupid and chavvy.
Second opinion by General on 17th Jul '07 5/10
Again this gets the average of points for cars that need big spoilers like a McLaren F1, or an F1 car which get a 10 and a Saxo with an ironing board strapped to the back which gets 0
  Average Rating 2.5

Diziet
optical moose
Tue 17th Jul '07 3:42PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05
entrails 10/10
"entrails, getchore fresh entrails! ten bob a coil!"

Second opinion by General on 18th Jul '07 8/10
Used for making haggis, mmmm lovely haggis.
Second opinion by Ginger fury on 31st Jul '08 8/10
they also make for some good zombi movies too!!
Average Rating 8.67

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Mon 28th Jul '08 12:02AM
4678 Posts
Demian's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
Josh from The West Wing's hair 10/10
In an age of CGI this hairpiece remains one of the last standard-bearers of animatronics and may be the swan-song of the dying art of the theatrical prosthetic. The creators, in attempting such a bold and ambitious idea, are obviously caricaturing the ever-changing, formless yet transfixing nature of American politics itself. To try to pin its shape or essence down is like trying to catch fog in a bag - approach the entity too close and notions such as 'shape' and 'boundary' become entirely meaningless, and leave the viewer rapt and dizzied by the endless possibility of the infinite.

Undoubtedly the star of the TV programme, the only down side of such an amazing headpiece is it renders The West Wing itself almost entirely unwatchable, as the viewer's attention is drawn inexorably and irresistably towards the miraculous endeavour, perched almost coquettishly atop the skull of actor Bradley Whitford.

It may be that modern 2-dimensional television is simply unable to provide a canvas broad enough to contain both this hairstyle and dramatic tension; no doubt ideas such as this will be more fully explored in the forthcoming era of affordable and practical 3-d viewing technologies.
Second opinion by Kelly on 30th Jul '08 10/10
Excellent. Reminds me of Malcolm's hair when he hasn't had it cut in a while.
  Average Rating 10

Xander
The panda is the evolutionary equivalent of living off benefits.
Tue 29th Jul '08 6:29PM
169 Posts
Xander's Avatar
Member Since
16th Jul '08
Appendix 0/10
The appendix is a highly disappointing body part and serves absolutely no purpose. Research suggested the appendix was for the digestion of grass. Eating grass is an evolutionary feature we humans have given up on since just before we took to walking on two legs. The appendix then has perhaps overstayed its welcome in the human body. However, one did wonder if the appendix would be capable of picking up its old job again. An ill advised experiment with the long grass in my garden revealed that the appendix has definitely ceased to work and the resulted in stomach cramp and vomiting.
In fact the only thing an appendix seems able to do for the modern human is appendicitis. This is where the useless appendix swells up, very painfully, with poison which can lead to gangrene or blood poisoning and eventual death. Luckily, if caught early a “hot appendix” can be removed in surgery.
The resulting scar from a removed appendix is surprisingly large and is certainly impressive. Unfortunately its use for macho posing or showing off in a “Jaws” situation is none existent owing to being placed rather low down on the body. Showing it at children’s parties is just wrong and strictly prohibited.
So to recap, the appendix can’t do its old job, it potentially kill you, if removed lit leaves a large scar near a rude place and serves absolutely no purpose. In conclusion then, safe to say nil points to the appendix.
Second opinion by Demian on 30th Jul '08 1/10
"An ill advised experiment with the long grass in my garden revealed that the appendix has definitely ceased to work and the resulted in stomach cramp and vomiting."

I think this deserves some sort of award for Sevices to Reviewing, at the very least. Way to take one for the team!

I award mine a single point as it's been good enough to never bother me or reveal its presence in any way.
 Average Rating 0.5

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