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Diziet
optical moose
Sat 18th Nov '06 10:51PM
2522 Posts
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Member Since
20th Jul '05
I come from a long line of complainers and writing letters or emails to companies is one of my favourite pass times.

i'm proud to say that my step-daughter shares this general disgruntlement at the treatment of consumers.

tonight, i am proud to say, my step-daughter produced her first letter of complaint. armed with only a blank sheet of A4 and a dictionary (apparently used in some bizarre random fashion i've yet to fathom) she wrote the following...

'Dear Sir / Madam. Freddo.
I am a 12 year old girl writing outraged about the price increase in your product 'Freddo'.
It is despicable that the price has gone up by 50% witch means after school i cannot buy my beloved Freddo. I am in great destitute, from money and bank problem. I go to school in the morning with ?1 for the bus and an extra 10p for my daily freddo. But since this sudden price change i have not been able to afford it. I am very serious about this price change Freddos. give me my daily sugar, without it i will die.
So i suggest you mollify me or i will be very upset and never buy your product. Me and you will never be rapport if you don't change the price of freddos, so you better not be resolute.
If you don't reply within 25 days i will take it very snub and i will not subsidy to your company. If you don't send gratis i will send my very, valiant taipan to the factory along with my black widdow and my taipan (freds) family.
I will not resolute until you change the Freddo price

Yours furiously,

Holly C'

i'm posting the letter on monday



General*
Windows Bob - the best!
Sun 19th Nov '06 1:14AM
4213 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
That is absolutely magic. it had me and the missus in stitches!

I think she might have a future in consumer programming.
    

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:25AM
758 Posts
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Member Since
4th Oct '03
Marvellous! Can I hire her to write letters of complaint for me?
   

Diziet
optical moose
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:34AM
2522 Posts
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Member Since
20th Jul '05


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
Marvellous! Can I hire her to write letters of complaint for me?



sure thing. mind you, if she doesn't get paid on time she may send you a strongly worded letter of complaint all of your own.

watch this space for her next letter. Haribo are on her hit list this time.


Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:35AM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03
That's brilliant!

Although I'm surprised nobody else has noticed that Holly C is already an accomplished writer - it was clearly she who wrote the entire script for Borat.
   

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:45AM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
My hilarity at the awesome letter is overshadowed by my horror at the facts introduced therein.

Seriously... 15p for a Freddo?!?!?
  

Spanners*
Misses his big brother :(
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:49AM
4597 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
That's truly marvellous!



Diziet was bold enough to comment:
you don't send gratis i will send my very, valiant taipan to the factory along with my black widdow and my taipan (freds) family.


But what does this even mean?
    

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:50AM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03


Spanners was bold enough to comment:

But what does this even mean?



I'm not quite sure but I interpreted it as a vague spider- and snake-based death threat
  

Diziet
optical moose
Mon 20th Nov '06 11:55AM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05


Spanners was bold enough to comment:
That's truly marvellous!



Diziet was bold enough to comment:
you don't send gratis i will send my very, valiant taipan to the factory along with my black widdow and my taipan (freds) family.


But what does this even mean?



as demian surmised, it is indeed a snake-spider based threat with added snake extended family. the girl means business!

Ginger fury
i sing chaka khan songs while wearing my white stilettos
Mon 20th Nov '06 5:21PM
278 Posts
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Member Since
5th Jul '06
Oh dear oh dear,

I think I may have to refer myself to the Social Service Department. God bless the evil geniouse of my daughter

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