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Vampire Slayer, THE HUMANS HAVE WON! - 61 to 90
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Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:24PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:
Right, well, THAT was a silly thing to do, because despite posting as "The Vampire", the homepage clearly stated that Diziet and Gertrude were online at the time. And frankly, from the penmanship, I'd say it was Diziet who wrote that.

Diziet, sir, how do you respond?



It definitely wasn't me! And I think Diziet is behaving in a decidedly suspicious manner.
 

Diziet
optical moose
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:28PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05
i leave the room for ten minutes to visit the little boy's room and the bloody cat is all over the laptop.

tsk!

anyway, it wasn't me. my evil laugh is BWA-HA-HA-HA. theres a clear difference here.

Agentgonzo
There's no pee in catheter!
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:31PM
811 Posts
Agentgonzo's Avatar
Member Since
8th Aug '06


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:
Right, well, THAT was a silly thing to do, because despite posting as "The Vampire", the homepage clearly stated that Diziet and Gertrude were online at the time. And frankly, from the penmanship, I'd say it was Diziet who wrote that.

Diziet, sir, how do you respond?



Or alternatively, Malcolm posted 3 minutes later... meaning he was online too - IT WAS HIM! Wait for him to bite someone, then stake him in the morning when he's sleeping off the nightly feast!

Or, suitably admin-type people could look through the logs and find out which IP address it was posted from and then compare that to known postings. But then again, that would be cheating and spoil the fun.
  

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:40PM
1673 Posts
Malcolm's Avatar
Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Oh, OK, OK, I admit it was a fairly lame accusation. Especially since the homepage said there were 4 guests logged in at the time. But hey, it's fun accusing Diziet of stuff.
   

Diziet
optical moose
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:44PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

But hey, it's fun accusing Diziet of stuff.



if i WERE a vampire i'd be lusting after your neck right now!

and its not very often i say that to another man.

Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:53PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Diziet was bold enough to comment:


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

But hey, it's fun accusing Diziet of stuff.



if i WERE a vampire i'd be lusting after your neck right now!

and its not very often i say that to another man.



Oh come on! You clearly are the vampire. Look at you over there in your haze of bloodlust.
 

Agentgonzo
There's no pee in catheter!
Tue 13th Nov '07 5:54PM
811 Posts
Agentgonzo's Avatar
Member Since
8th Aug '06


Diziet was bold enough to comment:
anyway, it wasn't me. my evil laugh is BWA-HA-HA-HA. theres a clear difference here.



Unless you were deliberately using a faux-evil-laugh to throw us off the scent...
  

Diziet
optical moose
Tue 13th Nov '07 6:07PM
2522 Posts
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Member Since
20th Jul '05


Agentgonzo was bold enough to comment:


Diziet was bold enough to comment:
anyway, it wasn't me. my evil laugh is BWA-HA-HA-HA. theres a clear difference here.



Unless you were deliberately using a faux-evil-laugh to throw us off the scent...



okay, okay i'll try to do the evil laugh posted by the anonymous vampire....

....right....

MMMMMHHHHHAAAA......*COUGH* *CHOKE* *SPLUTTER* *ASPHYXIATE* *WHEEZE*

you see? the anonymous poster is clearly a bass while i am more of a baritone.

its physically impossible for it to be me.

its obviously gertrude because i heard her singing, 'mmmm-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm' by the crash test dummies just the other day.

Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Tue 13th Nov '07 6:20PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Diziet was bold enough to comment:

okay, okay i'll try to do the evil laugh posted by the anonymous vampire....

....right....

MMMMMHHHHHAAAA......*COUGH* *CHOKE* *SPLUTTER* *ASPHYXIATE* *WHEEZE*

you see? the anonymous poster is clearly a bass while i am more of a baritone.

its physically impossible for it to be me.

its obviously gertrude because i heard her singing, 'mmmm-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm' by the crash test dummies just the other day.



Crash test dummies? Seriously? Is that the best you can do? The urge to feed is clearly warping your brain, you evil, blood-sucking fiend of the night!

Mrsham, you need to stake Diziet at the earliest possible opportunity!
 

Mrsham
I lost my toes in a game of blackjack
Tue 13th Nov '07 6:40PM
505 Posts
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5th Jan '07
wzbhnxchjfygh STFU guys m tryn to slp

 

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Tue 13th Nov '07 7:34PM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03
Well, what you all don't know is that the vampire is Malcolm. With my unique opportunities to study the way his mind works, along with a spot of Giles-worthy cross referencing, I can conclude this is almost certainly the case.

My reasons: He has always taken an interest in the use of language. Far be it from me to condemn given that every time I say any bloody thing I get accused of being an evil blood sucking bride of the night, but some have described it as an unhealthy interest, bordering on an obsession resulting in stalker-like behaviours towards people he sees as using language in interesting and novel ways. But I digress. My point is that I have in the past observed him to study and attempt to emulate the stylistic patterns of other forummers. I therefore accuse Malcolm on the grounds that he probably noted who was online, accessed his detailed database containing information on the styles of forum contributors, decided that Diziet, bless his little soul, has a more easily recognisable and emulatable style than Gertrude, and wrote the vampire post to throw the rest of us honest folk off the scent.

But now look what has happened: I've dared to draw attention to my own existence, so you'll all find some way of blaming me for the whole fiasco and thrust a stake through my warm and still beating heart. God damn you all.

   

Diziet
optical moose
Tue 13th Nov '07 7:45PM
2522 Posts
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20th Jul '05


Kelly was bold enough to comment:

Diziet, bless his little soul, has a more easily recognisable and emulatable style than Gertrude




huh!

kelly's a vampire. get her!

Mrsham
I lost my toes in a game of blackjack
Tue 13th Nov '07 8:44PM
505 Posts
Mrsham's Avatar
Member Since
5th Jan '07
WAAAAARGHGHHHH!!!!

Bits!!! She's all in bits!!!! Bits of ducks!!!

WAAAAARRGHRGHRHRGHGHHH!!!!!!!



fnnufn

 

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Wed 14th Nov '07 8:22AM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
Well, that was a very restless night! Anyway, the vampire has stalked amongst you, and may or may not have recruited another scooby to the ranks. Oooh, the suspense! It's morning now, you may all get up and brush your teeth / fangs as applicable.
  

Mrsham
I lost my toes in a game of blackjack
Wed 14th Nov '07 9:13AM
505 Posts
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Member Since
5th Jan '07
*yawn stretch* oh my gawd, someone killed .... wait that was me.

Last nights events were very interesting (I bugged your rooms ... I am a very paranoid slayer) and I would suggest - feel free to argue otherwise - that we limit our discussion to the following people:

-Diziet
-Malcolm
-Gertrude
and possibly
-Gonzo
-Kelly
and just possibly
-Spanners (just because he was online at the time!)

So ... pretty much everyone Having written that list, it'll turn out the vamp / one of the vamps is Swoop or Epicure * of course

I'm currently favouring Malcolm for imminent slayage, but am open to persuasion

*EDIT or Amanshu!
 

Diziet
optical moose
Wed 14th Nov '07 9:18AM
2522 Posts
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20th Jul '05


Mrsham was bold enough to comment:

I'm currently favouring Malcolm for imminent slayage, but am open to persuasion



he tried to fit me up last night. he's definitely some kind of blood-sucking fiend.

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 14th Nov '07 9:29AM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03
What? You old swines! What is this? Come on, it's just Kelly trying to distract us all from the real target...

(and by the way, I'd like to congratulate Mrsham on a very convincing performance of a slayer asleep.)
   

Agentgonzo
There's no pee in catheter!
Wed 14th Nov '07 10:32AM
811 Posts
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Member Since
8th Aug '06
Well we haven't heard from Epicure yet. Not a peep. If he's not the vampire, then he's not doing anything useful. Either way, we should get rid of the dead wood.
  

Mrsham
I lost my toes in a game of blackjack
Wed 14th Nov '07 12:20PM
505 Posts
Mrsham's Avatar
Member Since
5th Jan '07
Hmm ... I'm just not sure about all of this.

I'll go for mob rule and thus wash my hands of it. It's currently a tie between Malcolm and Diziet in terms of nominations for stakeage so further opinions could be crucial.

Also, who do we want Magina to protect?
 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 14th Nov '07 12:33PM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03
Oh good grief. I'm starting to understand what Kelly feels like, being suddenly and inexplicably accused all the time. (although, obviously, in Kelly's case it's not so inexplicable.)

As for who Magina should protect, well, it's tricky... I can't help thinking that the ones who are generally saying less are both (a) less likely to be vampires, and (b) more likely to be picked off... so I'd probably vote for Magina to protect either Swoop or Epicure_Mammon. Epicure has been slightly more silent... but on the other hand Swoop's use of the word 'quorum' should earn him some protection, I'd have thought.
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Wed 14th Nov '07 12:48PM
758 Posts
Kelly's Avatar
Member Since
4th Oct '03


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:
Oh good grief. I'm starting to understand what Kelly feels like, being suddenly and inexplicably accused all the time. (although, obviously, in Kelly's case it's not so inexplicable.)




I would encourage my fellow warm-blooded human companions to ignore this as the ruse it is. He's just trying to elicit pity so we don't thrust Mr Pointy through his ribcage. The proof will be in the pile of dust we'll find on his staking. Also, his skills in gaining the trust and pity of others are no more than an extension of his extended study of the language his human victims have used as he's been biting in to their necks.
   

Agentgonzo
There's no pee in catheter!
Wed 14th Nov '07 12:49PM
811 Posts
Agentgonzo's Avatar
Member Since
8th Aug '06


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:
As for who Magina should protect, well, it's tricky... I can't help thinking that the ones who are generally saying less are both (a) less likely to be vampires, and (b) more likely to be picked off... so I'd probably vote for Magina to protect either Swoop or Epicure_Mammon. Epicure has been slightly more silent... but on the other hand Swoop's use of the word 'quorum' should earn him some protection, I'd have thought.


I think Magina should protect me, but then I don't think that'll be the consensus. As for the above, Malcolm's suddenly jumping to protect people with some very flimsy arguments, which I interpret as he's a vampire and so is either Swoop or Epicure (saying both so as to throw us off the scent). I vote stake Malcolm.
  

Diziet
optical moose
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:08PM
2522 Posts
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Member Since
20th Jul '05
i'm not sure who the vampire is any more.


Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:18PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Diziet was bold enough to comment:
i'm not sure who the vampire is any more.





Oh, stop trying to fool us with your faux confusion. You're clearly the vampire, and need to be staked.

STAKE STAKE STAKE STAKE STAKE STAKE STAKE! DIZIET IS THE VAMPIRE.

I am convinced.
 

Diziet
optical moose
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:35PM
2522 Posts
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Member Since
20th Jul '05


Gertrude was bold enough to comment:

I am convinced.



ahh yes, i remember who it is now.

its gertrude....she's a THREE-BREASTED DAUGHTER OF SATAN! GET HER!

Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:42PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Diziet was bold enough to comment:


Gertrude was bold enough to comment:

I am convinced.



ahh yes, i remember who it is now.

its gertrude....she's a THREE-BREASTED DAUGHTER OF SATAN! GET HER!



Are you going to let this FESTERING BLOOD MONKEY OF SATAN lie to you in this way? STAKE HIM NOW, for all our sakes.
 

Diziet
optical moose
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:46PM
2522 Posts
Diziet's Avatar
Member Since
20th Jul '05


Gertrude was bold enough to comment:


Diziet was bold enough to comment:


Gertrude was bold enough to comment:

I am convinced.



ahh yes, i remember who it is now.

its gertrude....she's a THREE-BREASTED DAUGHTER OF SATAN! GET HER!



Are you going to let this FESTERING BLOOD MONKEY OF SATAN lie to you in this way? STAKE HIM NOW, for all our sakes.



SISTER FANGFACE OF THE ORDER OF THE NECK MUNCHING PLAGUE DEMONS speaks with a forked tongue. GET HER!

Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Wed 14th Nov '07 1:54PM
579 Posts
Gertrude's Avatar
Member Since
12th Oct '05


Diziet was bold enough to comment:

SISTER FANGFACE OF THE ORDER OF THE NECK MUNCHING PLAGUE DEMONS speaks with a forked tongue. GET HER!



I have neither a forked tongue, nor an extra breast. I am merely an innocent woman with a strong conviction that I am being vilified by an evil vampire. For the love of all that is holy, STAKE THE PESTILENT FOOTSOLDIER OF THE LORD OF DEATH AND MALICE.
 

Mrsham
I lost my toes in a game of blackjack
Wed 14th Nov '07 2:09PM
505 Posts
Mrsham's Avatar
Member Since
5th Jan '07
Diziet and gertrude, please be aware I am operating a one Scoob, one vote system
 

Swoop*
CHIMPO
Wed 14th Nov '07 2:26PM
1558 Posts
Swoop's Avatar
Member Since
9th Apr '03


Kelly was bold enough to comment:
...every time I say any bloody thing I get accused of being an evil blood sucking bride of the night...

...But I digress...

...thrust a stake through my warm and still beating heart. God damn you all.



Reading between the lines, I have divined the sinister taunting that lies in this carefully worded insult. Not content with her profile picture flaunting her vampiresque nature, she's now mocking us, like a serial killer in a film starring Morgan Freeman and a fresh faced sidekick.
 

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