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The longest Buffy poem ever - 1 to 16
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Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Tue 15th Jun '04 10:46AM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03
THought it had been a while since we had anything Buffy-related, so here goes:

http://www.buffy.nu/article.php3?id_article=4954
   

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Tue 15th Jun '04 10:47PM
4678 Posts
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7th Apr '03
That is hysterically bad

Willow began on a killing spree,
Warren wouldn?t get the change to flee.
She flayed him alive, and came after the two,
Jonathan and the other one, Andrew.



I was looking for more poems and found this...
http://www.geocities.com/newcassie/
Look familiar? Crazy navigation, though.


Here's some more terrible (and pretentious) Buffy poetry from an Australian forum...

http://forums.buffydownunder.com/showthread.php?t=7784&page=6&pp=15

Although I did enjoy the first one

As a vampire, I was indulgent,
And spurned all things efullgent,
Then I met the slayer,
Thought only to lay 'er,
Now my pants got a permanent bulge in it.





Also, can anyone explain what on earth is going on here?
http://storywrite.com/contest/517608
  

General*
Windows Bob - the best!
Tue 15th Jun '04 11:24PM
4213 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03

I walk through an eternity, cold and alone.
Eyes of glass, wings of stone.
I stare at the world through eyes that cry blood,
Vampires? Monsters? So misunderstood.

Cursed to live, never to rest,
Lively nothingness in harmonious detest.
Solitary confinement and yet surrounded by life,
An endless darkness in a world of flashing lights.

Lucky mortals: warmed by heated suites,
Myself left to seek one of you to eat.
Pallid hand, nails glossy and long,
And doomed- no one shares my isolated song.



Just a random selection
They are all about this bad.
    

General*
Windows Bob - the best!
Tue 15th Jun '04 11:43PM
4213 Posts
General's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
http://storywrite.com/Poem/464227

Ooo this takes the cake tho.

Points of note:
- The way it's not actually a poem just a wierdly formatted story.
- The way the vampire talks in a hilarious Spike style mockney accent.
    

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 16th Jun '04 8:45AM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03
That is dreadful. Dreadful. Where do you guys find this stuff?
   

Kelly*
Poke me in the knees and call me Roger
Wed 16th Jun '04 2:00PM
758 Posts
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Member Since
4th Oct '03
I can't bring myself to read any of it, sounds horrible.
   

Swoop*
CHIMPO
Wed 16th Jun '04 5:49PM
1558 Posts
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Member Since
9th Apr '03

Buffy is the oddest name
Something you'd name a kitten
Now I have her envisioned
With a puffy tail and tiny mittens
I picture her all the time
I like to picture her nude
I'd like to see the real thing
But she has a shitty attitude

 

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Wed 16th Jun '04 6:11PM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Swoop was bold enough to comment:

Buffy is the oddest name
Something you'd name a kitten




Actually, about 10 years before Buffy first graced our TV screens, I knew someone with a kitten called Buffy. And it wasn't Swoop.
   

General*
Windows Bob - the best!
Wed 16th Jun '04 6:51PM
4213 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03

images imperfect,
reflection of an artist's regret.
a picture of perfection,
unresolved aspirations.
abstract movements on canvas,
resolving the disease of obsession.
random strokes, bucketed afterwords,
giving-in to this senseless world.
shapes of music,
vista deafness.
mashed paper pasteings,
relating to the science of confusion.
minimalism of structure,
humble exhibition of beauty.
those with three dimensions,
major attention to minor perfections.
splash of varied colors,
revealing the inconsistency of nature.
images with complementing words,
a small direction to a presentation.


AAAGHHH!
It's like it was written by David Brent with magnetic fridge poetry.
And every one has a thousand stupid comments after it saying how amazing it is.
CURSE YOU RUBBISH BACK SLAPPING WEB POETS!
    

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Wed 16th Jun '04 7:50PM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
Male Partygoer (reading William's poetry): "My heart expands/ 'tis grown a bulge in't/ inspired by/ your beauty effulgent." Effulgent?
2nd Male Partygoer: And that's actually one of his better compositions.
Female Partygoer: Have you heard? They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!



But strangely, still better than anything to be found on the internet, it seems.

  

General*
Windows Bob - the best!
Wed 16th Jun '04 9:28PM
4213 Posts
General's Avatar
Member Since
7th Apr '03
I have just had a fabby idea!
Lets collectively write some bloody aweful poetry and submit it to one of those poetry thingys to see what people say.
Who wants to go first?
    

Malcolm*
My ape goosed a Bishop. Who are you?
Thu 17th Jun '04 9:25AM
1673 Posts
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Member Since
3rd Jun '03


Demian was bold enough to comment:

Male Partygoer (reading William's poetry): "My heart expands/ 'tis grown a bulge in't/ inspired by/ your beauty effulgent." Effulgent?
2nd Male Partygoer: And that's actually one of his better compositions.
Female Partygoer: Have you heard? They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!



Have you seen the last ever episode of Angel? This poem is featured once more - it's brilliant!

And General, that's a grand idea. Unfortunately I've got to go to work, but count me in.
   

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Thu 17th Jun '04 5:28PM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03


Malcolm was bold enough to comment:

Have you seen the last ever episode of Angel? This poem is featured once more - it's brilliant!



My sig file has never been so appropriate Yep, last Angel was fantastic, any views on the proposed tv movies / film speculations?

And here's my first verse for the 'Deliberately Appaling Buffy Poetry' competition. Next person: quote and add.



Buffy Summers, you're the one
You always make our evenings lots of fun
Your slaying antics make me think
Of Vlad The Impaler and his protege, Englebert Humperdink




It causes me physical pain to write non-scanning verse
Who's for verse 2?

YATES
  

Anonymous
Unregistered
Wannabe
Forummer
Sun 30th Jul '06 10:56AM
Storywrite is a site full of crap. All the people on it are either illiterate or stoooooopit!

Just check it out and see for yourself.

Gertrude
Landy Dirtlady
Mon 31st Jul '06 11:36AM
579 Posts
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Member Since
12th Oct '05


Demian was bold enough to comment:




Buffy Summers, you're the one
You always make our evenings lots of fun
Your slaying antics make me think
Of Vlad The Impaler and his protege, Englebert Humperdink





Willow is clever and also a witch
She can make potions to cause an itch,
or find things in books and make complex plans
so that slaying will go with minimal hitch(es).


And to think that I should be writing a PhD thesis instead of this crap. Oh dear. Do you like my clunky rhyme scheme?


 

Demian*
Oh Lordy, Plegaleggole
Mon 31st Jul '06 4:36PM
4678 Posts
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Member Since
7th Apr '03
Woah... 2-year-old Zombie thread! Nice work though Gerturude, anyone else?
  

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